problem is, he likes me

i know, doesn’t seem like much of a problem to most, but it is… trust me on this one… i can’t let myself be liked right now. and i am certainly in NO position to like someone in return. i have so much i still need to deal with… so much that i can’t seem to let go of… or move on from

how does one let go? how does a person move on? why am i the only one on the planet who doesn’t seem to think it should be easy?

See you tomorrow!

I am still alive, aliens have not abducted me, and I am not being held hostage by terrorists.

I just have a new hobby (*COUGH* addiction *COUGH*).

I recently discovered these wonderful little things called Perler beads (those of you not in the states my know them as Hama beads.) Essentially, they are these tiny little plastic beads that are intended to be used by children to make cutesy little magnets they can give mom for the fridge.

But, being the weirdo I am, I have started using them in my art projects. I am attempting (emphasis on attempting LOL) to use them to make mosaics. Regardless of whether it works or not, I am having a blast trying. And I am 100% addicted. I can barely sleep. The beading has taken over my brain!

If I can get anything good out of this venture, I will be sure to post pics.

I hope you are all well, and i do miss you all… <3

But lately, it seems that every rainy day brings out the weirdos in people.

For instance:

Today at work was fruitcake central. I saw the girl who never eats buy about a years supply of junk food. I watched a relatively normal looking teenage guy carry on a full conversation with himself, including arguing both sides OUT LOUD. I helped another guy find what he was looking for who had earphones in, was literally dancing in the aisles, and turned out to not have his earphones attached to anything at all (the plug was just hanging out by his side). WTF is wrong with people?

Does rain waterlog the brain? Do high levels of humidity cause temporary insanity? I just don’t get it!

What worries me the most is where are these freaks on sunny days?!?!?

Someone, please, tell me what is going on around here! LOL

I just needed to get that out.

Thank you.

That is all.

Carry on with your day….

It has been a long time since I posted for HNT! I guess I just wasn’t up to par, but I do apologize for being so slack. Even this week I still wasn’t sure what to do for HNT, so I dug through some older pics and found one I took to send AP while he was at work one day. This is what happens when he leaves me alone at his place and I get bored:

I guess he wouldn’t really see that that’s a bad thing, huh? LOL
________________________________________________________

Now go see the other HNTer’s and say hello for me!

And don’t forget to stop by and show Os some love either!

I swear I must be THE most unlucky person in the world.

Why is it that when one thing goes wrong it all seems to fall apart at once?

My car is a piece of shit, my mother is on my ass about everything, I am broke, my job is SHIT, and I am essentially a loser.

This is NOT where I was supposed to be right now.

I was supposed to have at least most of my affairs in order. I was supposed to be at least almost grown up by now.

Instead I sleep in my childhood bedroom and work the worst paying job I have ever had. I can’t feed myself, clothe myself, or house myself. I am a wreck.

I don’t know how to change it.

I think I am losing my mind… and, worst of all, I think I might be losing my ability to care any more.

I’m going to bed… maybe tomorrow I will wake up as someone – anyone else….

(And yes, before anyone asks, I am still at the world’s most boring/annoying job… but that is an entirely different story.)

As I said before, I work at a college, and I have to deal with students on a fairly regular basis. Most of the time (emphasis on most) I don’t mind the students themselves. While I do deal with my fair share of gripes and complaints almost daily, I usually understand that they are frustrated with the situation, not me, and I am lucky enough to deal with “almost grownups” who can maintain their composure enough to get to a resolution. Usually.

And then there are the students like the one I had to deal with today.

I won’t go into the gory details, as I am sure if I started I would probably not be able to stop venting for anywhere less than ten pages, but suffice it to say that this “lovely young lady” needed her teeth kicked in.

To make a long story short, she came through the door (which she almost tore off its hinges by the way) yelling obscenities at her own mother. As if that wasn’t enough, she was leading her approximately 10 year old sister by the hand at the same time. She was in her teens, and she was already sure she was queen of the known universe.

This wonderful specimen of humanity proceeded to scream at her parents, fling obscenities at me, and stomp her feet like a ten year old, all because she had failed to listen, not once, not twice, but three times when she was told what she needed to do over the course of the past month.

She informed me I was a liar, a bitch, and yes, she even called me a cunt.

It took everything in me not to smack her to the ground.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, mom-of-the-year thought she would buck up to me as well. That part was easy to handle though. I just simply told dear old mom that her lovely little girl was a liar and a snot. She backed down from me quickly. (Although there was never any doubt that she would. It was pretty obvious she couldn’t even stand up to her own teenager.)

My job really, really, really makes me hate kids. The longer I am there, the more sure I am that I do not wish to ever join the ranks of the breeders. That sucks though, because I used to enjoy the company of kids.

I have got to get out of that place before I become a truly certified people hater…

In the past, I have always made my own costumes. But, last year, for the first time ever, I bought my costume. It just wasn’t the same.

I need some ideas for what to be this year. I tend to like things like movie/book characters, and they are usually a little off-beat or nerdy. I like to go all out on my costume, and I am a fanatic about the details.

In the past I have been various Star Wars characters, video game characters, literary figures, and random funny “pun characters” (like a black-eyed “P”).

This year I want something sexy, yet that still allows me to express my inner dork.

Any suggestions?