No, there was no innuendo intended there. Sorry everyone. I wish there had been – perhaps this would be a better story if that was the case. But, alas, this is just a story about me and my employer and the way I was made to look and feel a fool recently.
I guess in order to understand this story you need a little background info about what exactly it is that I do for work. I can’t really say too much, as the corporation I work for made me sign a “No Blogging” agreement (boolshitz, I know), but I will do my best to let you know as much as I can. Let’s just say that I am subcontracted to an institution of higher learning, and that my primary function is to act as a liaison between my company and the school. One more necessary tidbit – I also work with the students of this particular institution, and I see them far more often than I do the administration and faculty. I don’t particularly like this line of work, but it has good benefits. Also, the area I live in is seriously hurting in the job market arena, and when I took this job in 2004 it was the best I could get. The pay is terrible, but the work is usually mindless, so, until lately, it has all been at least tolerable. That’s the gist of what you need to know. (Again, I apologize for being so vague.)
Now, on to the story…
About two months ago I began to get uneasy with my job. It wasn’t that the job itself changed, it was more like the reality of what I do (for the amount of pay I get) started to sink in. I have never liked my hours, and I tend to get a whole lot of grief for things that don’t work yet are out of my control. Usually this would be okay, and I know that my work ethic is such that the angst will pass and I will continue to be a good little corporate drone. Usually. But not this time.
The more I thought about work, the unhappier I became. It wasn’t long until it was all I could do to make myself get out of bed every morning and make the short commute to work. I was grumpy, lazy, and becoming increasingly non-productive. It simply wasn’t a good situation. Now, I have been on both ends of the managerial food chain – and everywhere in between. I know how annoying it is to have to work with someone who hates her job, and I also know how bad it can get when she gets fed up and just doesn’t show up. The company I work for hasn’t really been the greatest company in the world, but they have always been fair; so I thought it only proper that I be fair with them. So, instead of just giving in to the urge to no-call no-show them, I went to my superior and told her that I was unhappy. At the time, I had full faith that my concerns would be heard, and we could come to some sort of terms that made sense for everyone.
My boss listened. She nodded. She “uh huh”ed in all the right places. She “fully understood” what I was saying. I thought we were making progress. Really. I honestly did. We talked about all the possible resolutions, all the viable options. We discussed what I wanted to get out of my time there, and what the firm needed to get out of me. There was talk about promotion, and there was even the offer to transfer to another town where I would rather be anyway. I was praised and told that I was a “valuable asset” to my company. I was informed that “the last thing we want to do is lose you.” Everything seemed to be looking up.
When we finished with our marathon negotiations, we left it at this: I would think about what would make me happy, and I would get back to my superiors within a week or two. Almost as an afterthought (so it seemed) she added that even if I decided that leaving was the best option for me that would be okay, too. She assured me that I would never have anything but a shining reference from her or anyone else in the company should I ever need it. I felt heard, relaxed and rejuvenated. I was ready to spend some quality time weighing my options. It was all good.
I spent the next week doing very little besides trying to come to terms with my employment situation. At the end of it all, I decided that I would be happier elsewhere. It’s not that I couldn’t be happy there, it’s just that I am a creative person that needs a job that offers me an outlet for my creativity. This is not that job. I went back to my boss and told her what I had decided. She was friendly and she again assured me that I would be missed and that my I would always be welcome back should I change my mind. Due to the nature of what I do, we mutually decided that I would stay there full-time until I could fully train my replacement, and that I would be given the time I need to find other work. It still seemed like all was well.
Now this is where it gets sticky:
Last week, while doing my normal, day-to-day duties, I came in contact with a member of our student body. This student needed something from me that I was unable to give, due to the fact that a member of the faculty (which I have tried to reach numerous times regarding this issue) will not get in contact with me in any way, shape or form. Said faculty member acts as though she is too important to deal with me or anyone that works for my company, yet she continually sends students to “do her dirty work” for her. Every year since I have been here we have gone round and round over this attitude of hers. It’s maddening, to say the least.
When I told the student that I (unfortunately) could not help him, I also told him that perhaps if he would tell this faculty member to contact me we could resolve this issue quickly and painlessly. I will admit that I was a bit sarcastic and that I may have even been snide in the way I spoke to him. That I am more than willing to concede. However, I was never rude, and I did not say one thing to him that I would not say in front of the CEO of my company. In fact, when he left he seemed to understand what I was saying and he did not seem the least bit perturbed, put off, or upset.
But apparently he was.
He went straight back to the faculty member and told her that I had called her an idiot. WTF?!?! I assure you I did no such thing. It simply is not in my nature to stoop to calling names like a three year old. Perhaps it is my own arrogance, but I consider myself too intelligent and too eloquent to let myself be reduced to that level. If I have a problem with someone I take it up with them in the most adult, reasonable manner I can find. Even when someone else goes to the “name calling place”, I refuse to follow. I just was not raised to talk to or about someone like that. If you hear me call someone a name it means that I have probably been friends with you for a very long time, and still you would not hear it unless we were alone and there was no way in the world I thought anyone else could hear. I was dumbfounded that he would say that about me.
The worst part is that the faculty member still did not attempt to contact me. She didn’t even attempt to contact anyone with my company. She went to the highest person in the school’s administration and filed a formal complaint against me. She also made sure that every single faculty member in the entire school got a copy of the letter she sent. She accused me of not doing my job well, and of being rude and unprofessional. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.
Since I have been at my job since 2004 I have not received one complaint. Not a one. I have been given hundreds of compliments though, many in writing. I have been praised repeatedly, both by the school and my firm. And, since I just spoke with my boss and she went on and on about what a good job I do, I wasn’t worried at all that she (and her superiors) would back me up. I just knew it would all be resolved and the student would be discredited. I just knew that the years of hard work and dedication I have shown would shine through.
Boy, was I ever wrong.
This morning there was a meeting of all the upper echelon people in both establishments to come to a resolution about this “he said, she said” mess. And you know what? My company threw me under the bus. All in the name of “saving face” my coworkers turned on me and agreed (without my being present) that I should be fired for this “travesty”. They apologized to this stuck up, know-it-all woman who can’t be bothered to do her job properly for my actions and words. They told her they were appalled that I had acted in such a manner and that I would be summarily terminated.
Now, I know I just said that I was already on my way out the door. But that’s not the point. The point is that I have been played. I was nothing but a corporate pawn so this company can continue to make literally millions a year at this school. The point is that now I don’t have a shining reference – I don’t even have a reference at all. The point is that all my years of “good deeds” have been erased based on the misstatement of one flippant student. The point is that my reputation has been irrevocably tarnished. The point is that my feelings are hurt that no one – not one single person – stood up for me.
I genuinely have no idea what to do or how to react. Part of me wants to rage and scream, to write letters to the proper people detailing how I have been wronged. Yet another part of me wants to hang my head in shame and crawl in a hole. And the biggest part of me want to just go to bed and cry myself to sleep.
How do I deal with this? What do I say? Do I say anything at all? Or do I just leave with the little bit of dignity I have left?
I’m sorry this has been so long winded. Really I am. I just don’t have anywhere else to let this out. It’s not like I can talk to anyone I work with, right?
