So tomorrow is the day I go for credit counseling.
EEK!
I can’t think of anything I would rather do LESS.
Just the mere thought of going to a perfect stranger to hash out the details of my financial life makes me cringe. How humiliating is it going to be to sit there and list all the things I didn’t pay on time, all the money I owe?
For what it’s worth, there really isn’t that much debt in my life. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure (unless I totally missed something) that I owe less than five grand total for the past 5 years of my life. So I guess it really could be worse.
The thing is, this isn’t my first time being in debt. When I was eighteen (many, many moons ago) I got my very first credit card. That precious little piece of plastic led to many more little cards that looked so lovely in my wallet… and even lovelier sliding through that little slot by the mall cash register. In all my youthful “wisdom” I used that “free money” to the fullest. I bought dorm room decor and dinner for friends. I splurged on shoes and bags and CD’s at every turn. There was no store I wouldn’t enter, no sale I would pass by. It was unreal. And it was really, really stupid of me, too.
Back then, it took precious little time to reach an astounding level of debt (think of a number, add 3 or 4 zeros to it, and you may be half way there). That free money went so fast you would have thought it was on wheels! Needless to say, the bubble soon burst and I was left owing mucho moola to more than a few financial institutions. It was the single most terrifying and humbling experience of my life.
I spent the next ten (yes, TEN!) years varying between dodging phone calls and begging for mercy from all my creditors. I worked multiple jobs, ate Ramen noodles more than I care to remember, and swore to both myself and the banks that I would never end up there again. Finally, after much crying, sweating, and praying it was over. I had come full-circle back to ground zero.
I managed to stay there about a year. Then I met the future-ex-husband. And, of course, as all young couples do, we started talking about the future (cue ominous music). We planned it all, from the wedding, to the kids, to the house and the car and the picket fence. We had it all figured out. What we didn’t have was the money to make it happen. So, what did we do? You guessed it… we started rebuilding my credit so we could finance our perfect little future.
Everything went fine, too. At least, it was fine… until our perfect little future fell apart at our perfect little feet. Now, here I am, single, living with mom again, driving a certified POS car, and back in debt.
What a mess.
It’s not like I haven’t tried to pay the bills. Really. I did. Hand to heart! I tried so hard. But apparently I am just not good at this whole budgeting thing. I’ve never really been great with money in the first place, but you would think I would have gotten at least a little better by now. You would think that I would have learned that Ramen noodles won’t kill me, and that sometimes I do have to say “no” to the 75% off shoe sales. But I haven’t. To say otherwise would be an outright lie.
So, this time, I have enlisted the help of a professional before it gets too far out of my control.
Anyone ever used a credit counselor before? Should I be scared? (‘Cause I am scared… really, really scared…) Any advice you want to pass along? I’ll take any I can get at this point…
